Monday, August 29, 2016

Girl Talk - Lead by Example

"I don't want my children to follow in my footsteps. I want them to take the path next to me and go further than I could ever dreamt possible." Author Unknown

Social media and norms have polluted our minds so much, and in an instant, replicas of inappropriate trend and styles have become the norm. As soon as some of the "idols" that many young girls look up to shares a photo with a style, 2 days later, your timeline is blowing up with it.

Am I just old fashion? YES
Will I conform or bend? NO

I can't imagine walking around or leaving my home going to a day event ( NOT BEACH) in a full shear dress with bra and panties only and allowing my daughter to see it. I can't forget the day my granny said, "what's good for the goose may not be good for the gander." This saying has resignated with me for years.


Parents, please be careful how you carry yourself around your child or children. You are their first idol so think about your actions. Children learn what they see.

Allow them to find their own unique sense of style. Emphasize individuality, norms and  self control. Middle school is a tough age so please keep your eyes and ears open all the time.  Be a police in their lives especially if you allow them freedom. 

Let's preach that SOCIETY, especial today's social norms and media are NOT the go to teacher for life lessons. As parent, we should have an open trusting relationship and our children should be able to share their feelings with us. We should ensure that our children are so strong on the INSIDE that no matter what society preaches, they can still STAY strong to their family value system.  As a mother or 2, I monitor what my children watch, what they hear, who they hang with and what feeds into their spirit.  I am so proud that if you ask my kids about Jordans, they would ask if only basketball players wear them.  They know about Old Navy, Gap (Clearance rack), Crazy 8 and all the sales.  They are comfortable in their skin and their outer appearance does NOT dictate who they are.

So parents, lets invest more time in raising our future leaders.  Our little girls should look up to First Lady Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Simone Biles, Oprah Winfrey, Elen Ochoa, Madame CJ Walker, Maya Angelou, Alicia Keys and a host of many others positive figures.  Our boys should emulate our first Black President Barack Obama, Bill Gates, Marcus Garvey, Alfonso Cuaron, Martin Luther King, Neil Armstrong and Steve Jobs and those who have positively impacted our lives.  Lets enrich their minds with education and the right keys to success.

Thanks for stopping by and lets start at HOME!!!

Much love to my amazing son Aiden for capturing these photos.  He is always happy to capture us! Stay tune for my OPEN letter to my children!!!!

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Sunday, August 21, 2016

The Joy of Motherhood

"Strength does not come from winning, your struggles develop your strengths.  When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength."

It's been a continuously battle to keep fighting and not give up.  The MORE pain and fear that I have encountered, the MORE strength I find from no where to keep going.  My life hasn't been a fairy tale. I have had my fair amount of struggles but I use these struggles to uplift others when times are tough.  I have had near death experiences, divorce , breakups,  death of loved ones, internal battles to just want to give up but I choose the path to fight. Each day I wake up, I start my morning in meditation and prayer. I talk to God before I rise and ask Him to give me the strength and guidance needed to carry me through.  I then reflect on how I will choose to start my day!

1. Will I start it dwelling on yesterday's mistake?
2. Will I start it ready to embrace the unknown?

For the most part, I try to start it with a SMILE and to start thinking of all the positive things that I have encountered the day before.  I think about my purpose and why I am here.  If I give up, then that is an excuse for my son or daughter to give up too.

As a SINGLE parent, every decision that I make affect 2 little people I have to raise.  If you know me, my life revolves around my kids as I am the only strength finder they look up to each day.  The love that we share is unconditional.  I have to choose to make the RIGHT decisions most of the time as it affects their well being. My career choice revolves around them, the person I date, the people I surround myself with and the way I carry myself each day.

MY top 4 most important LIFE lessons from MOTHERHOOD are:

1. Showing unconditional LOVE...
I am such a fan of heart to heart talks, spending quality time and engaging in deep conversation.  I am not a supporter of showing love with material things, so my kids don't care for Jordans, parties and games.  My children and I spend quality time together and I decided that I wanted to keep them close to me as much as I can. In the mornings, before we drive out, we start out in prayer and we talk about anything on our way to school.  Our late afternoons are talking about my day and what the evening will bring.  If you know me, I don't hold long phone conversations unless they are fast asleep.  I text more than I talk and I try to give them their time when I get home.  When we have our talks, my son is the first one to grab the phone and hide it.  My children love dates (dinner), hanging out on Sundays and just chilling at home watching a movie on Friday nights.  We engage in deep and open conversation and it is OK for them to tell me how they feel.  We kiss and hug for no reason and it is Ok for them to cry and later tell me what I said that hurts.  We have developed an open relationship and I am not too old to say I am sorry to them.

2.  Do I switch career or continue in education until they are in college?
 The choice I have made is to stay the course until both have completed High School. YES I plan to teach at every school they attend.  I want them to get the best all around education and push them beyond their comfort zone.  As a teacher in the same school they attend, I am forced to be even more involved.  My kids sometimes hate this but knowing their teachers and building a strong relationship is the key to success.  I have a very good relationship with the teachers and I know which teacher will match each of their personalities.  My son adores his teacher and that is his key to success.  He will have the same teacher again in 4th grade and I am super excited for him.  On a positive note, my daughter pushes herself in Reading and naturally is the one of the top student.  I am so blessed to have 2 amazing children who understands the value of Education.

3. Dating, Getting Married again, Planning Long Term...:-)
I am very protective about the folks that I allow close to me especially my kids.  I am very skeptical and have significantly reduce my circle to a small network of close friends .  I have read and heard about so many nightmare stories and have battled with trust issues even with the people who are close to me.  If you know me, my kids going to sleep overs are a BIG NO NOs, NOWADAYS even with my OWN family members.  The person that I marry :-) would be someone who has gotten a good chunk of my heart as I keep it protected and one who has gained my trust.  I hope one day that I can openly share the love with someone who will accept my flaws and share the same love for me and my kids.

4. The decision making process...
I know I  may get a few to of my readers to disagree with me but every decision that I make I always think how will this decision affect my children. I am a single parent raising them 90% or more most of the time.  I plan my schedule totally around theirs and I plan their lives out. YES, I am a planner and  I have already started the planning process  for my son's Middle and High school career.  My son pretty much understands that mommy is his backbone and life without a plan is like being in the desert without a map.  This summer, my son decided that he would like to pursue a career in Mathematics and Engineering.  Little did I know he was listening and watching every steps that I made and was learning the Middle school curriculum as he sat next to me most of the time.  He told me one night while we were hanging that I think I want to go away (YES) and pursue a Masters in Mathematics.  He said mommy I love numbers and I think I am good at it.  When a 9 year old can search YOUTUBE to learn Math topics and master it, I know he is on the right track.  On a positive note, I am not concerned about my daughter as she strives for perfection in all that she does.  She pushes herself naturally and loves the arts (dance, music, gymnastics) and I know she will excel in whatever choices or path she will take.  She strives for intrinsic rewards and loves to read and write.  She is just an all around, well balanced, loveable little diva.

I am protecting my pension, my long term investment who are my children.  I encourage every parent to INVEST quality time now when your child/children are young.  PLAN, SHARE, WORK in sync and everything will fall into place.  I know that many may disagree with my parenting style but I want the best for my children so that 10 years from now, I can simply travel the world and semi retire from the profession of teaching.  There is NO parenting manual that one can learn from on how to raise a child.  Every child is unique and every parenting style may differ.  I believe in OPEN, TRUSTING, LOVING relationships.  I honestly allow myself to be told that I am wrong and I simply apologize when I am.  I find that my children are happier, healthier and enjoy a more rewarding life.

What is your parenting style?

Feel free to drop a comment or two below.
Thanks for stopping by and reading my POST!!!

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Monday, August 8, 2016

Life...Changes that come in an instant!!!!

"You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."   -A.A. Milner

When life throws you lemon, get up, wake up and make some strawberry marmalade. Life's detour can either make you go two ways, either take the risk and head out strong, or give up and give in.

I promise you, I felt it when Prim called me and told me she had a lump. How could this happen, we just had a grande time at Diner En Blanc. The mammogram result wasn't what I wanted to hear. No, please, I was in denial more than she was. We were just celebrating happiness and then the shocking news.  I cried, yes I cried. I said not Prim.  A few moments, I reflected on my struggles, my near death experience and said she will come out victorious. I remembered my struggles with my health, sick, hospitalized 18 times with my firstborn. I did win the battle and shared words of encouragement. I know that our God that we serve will never leave us nor forsake us.

I continued to encourage Prim to embrace this struggle. When she suggested that I shoot her I accepted the request wholeheartedly. I suggested bold pink lips and a beautiful long dress. I went across the street from my home in JA and got all her "money shots."

This experience is a true reflection that life can change in an instant. You never know when it may be your timing. When one faces a challenging period or moment in life, you can choose two paths; accept it and fight it victoriously, or give up. What path will you choose?  I truly had an amazing time with Prim, my girlfriends (Trudy and Lisa) and the amazing make-up artist JODY (Instagram Page: ) while she was getting her makeover done.  She felt comfortable around us and was openly embracing the change.  I wanted her to enjoy and feel beautiful and understand that your HAIR or EYELASHES is not the beauty of a woman, but her inner strength during a challenging period.

 I have truly learned so much about myself through my struggles and always tried to find the positive in light of a tough period in my life.  I have shared my stories with others to uplift and inspire and I know that Prim will win this battle in her life.

In closing, " Life is ten percent of what happens to you and ninety percent of how you respond to it."  Lou Holtz

Thanks for reading her story.  Please feel free to share the link with a person who may be going through a challenging period in their lives.  
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